Yesterday there was a very interesting experience with the Taxi Driver on the way back home from the office in Dubai. I was silent when my collegeue started a converstaion with the taxi driver. The guy (lets call him Mr. X) was curious to know what we were doing. So he was told we are into training on personal excellence, helping people change their attitudes, behaviors etc.
Then Mr. X started talking about how he stopped procrastination and started exercising every day in the morning and how he has been consistently doing it for the last 6 months. I was happy for him and then he said he smokes 4 cigarrates a day. Well I was wondering for a moment if I need to talk this guy and make him quit smoking. I did not have much time either as I was nearing my place. But the previous sentence of his gave me confidence that he will be committed if the change comes from within. So with that in mind I decided to give my few mins to change his behavior!

What drives people are 2 things, Pain and Pleasure. With smoking the Pleasure component is so high that unless its negated with something so painful will not help him come out of the habit. Most drivers in Dubai come here with the intention of giving the best for the family. So is Mr. X, and he has 2 children, a 5 year old boy and a 3 month old girl. So I had my trump card to play with and started asking him how will it be if he orphaned his children (I know this is quite raw but I had to give him a painful experience).
He was shaken for a second. Becuase he was in blaming the govenment, stating that why are allowing smoking when they are not allowing drugs. So I simply asked him, ‘The government also does not allow suicide and still people do, so it lies in individuals to define whats right and whats not! I wanted to scare him a little more on the consequneces of smoking, and then told him if knew how the lungs look like? He was not sure, so picked my phone and drew the lungs with holes in it. I told him in normal lungs there are no holes and since he is burning them down with smoke, a few months later that how his lungs will be. All this shook him a little and then decided to push him more!

My collegeue then said stop it now! Well thats one big challenge many people face! Not taking Action on time. My collegeue was really pushing him to stop now! Now that was a challenge for me to make him accept the change instantly. Thats when I believe that the Brain works at a great speed if you want to! So I just gave him a metphor to keep him in a fix. Tomorrow never happens.

NLP always told me this, Speak in the others persons language. The example I gave him was this. Assume that your are driving and see a truck crossing and what do you at that moment? So here is a conversation that we had (Mr. X - The Driver, PS - Praveen Sherman)

Mr. X - I apply the brakes
PS - and how quickly
Mr. X - Immediately
PS - what would happen if you do it after 5 mins
Mr. X - an accident and crash
PS - and?
Mr. X - probably even die
PS - So what do you stop smoking? Now or later?

So I was expecting the next one. How about reducing it to one or two? So I continued the conversation

PS - Shall I give you some few drops of poison? Just half a spoon?
Mr. X - Oh no!
PS - So coming back to the same thing, if you see a truck when you do brake?
Mr. X - immediately
PS - so what happens if you brake only half? Do not brake fully, so what are the consequnces
Mr. X - crash and accident.

By this time I felt that I had almost won him and made him undergo that split second choice. Remember Changes always happens in a Heart Beat!

PS - Hold the Brakes now and full! And if you have a cigaratte now give it to me! (not for me, but to throw it out :))

So he handed over one to me, I did felt good at that moment for making a difference in this guy. Pray for this guy for him to stop smoking for ever. I told him to call his wife and tell her that he has stopped. That will give him a better push!

A request to all those who smoke, you know what to do Wishing you all a wonderful 2010!

This is a great way to start a New Year! I am gifted to have helped him and I am sure more in the future! Welcome 2010!

Just yesterday I saw the documentary movie - This is it

I have always been a great fan of Micheal Jackson and then when I started training I had him as a model because of the kind of energy what he has on stage. He is simply superb.

And after the movie I could learn more about this great man. I would want to see the best things that this man did and learn from him. This movie was some of his rehearsals that he did for his final tour. And just 8 days before he was to go for it, he died.

1. Humility - So humble he was during his rehearsals. For the man he is he can have so much ego in him. But he is cool and humble. He has the humility to say, I am not able to hear things properly and not say you guys dont sound proper

2. Passion - At the age of 50 he still dances with the same passion. He did not look tired even for a minute.

3. Intensity - Oh.. you just need to feel it.

4. Perfection - He exactly know what he is doing and is a perfectionist. Even a small change in the sound he immediately pointed it out. And he did not move on till it was 100% perfect. I was wondering how he did it and thats when my friend told me “thats why he is MJ”. How true right, but we too can do it.

5. Energy - There is no doubt that the only reason he is so powerful is his energy. And at 50 he has the same energy as he was 25 years ago. When the Thriller Song was rehearsed I was just oozing in energy and he exactly does the same way he did when it was shot 25 years ago.

6. Compassionate - he went and hugged all dancers, technicians. He did not throw any tantrums and was really compassionate and loving. And thats what he said to all. Pass on your Love to everyone

7. Challenges himself - He was put in a crane to reach towards the audience and give them a great feel. So he alighted the crane and the director tells him, be careful and this is only half the height that it can. MJ immediately tells everyone “This guys is teasing me and he knows that I want to go higher”. Thats what he has always wanted

8. Think Big - Everyone who works with him believe that he is a big thinker. He wants the best of  everything and never compromises on his desires

9. Walk the Talk - When he makes a mistake he immediately accepts and corrects them. Thats what makes other do their best. (if you just stand next to him I think u’ll start feeling his energy in you. He just vibrates with so much enthusiasm and energy). And after a small mistake when he stops and the directors asks if he wants to practice again, he just says “Thats what rehearsals are supposed to be”

10. Social Awareness - He is not just singing what he likes or what others like. He says in the movie the he loves plants and nature and how we must protect them

11. Performer - Its just not important to know what you are doing, its equally important that whatever you do, do it differently and effectively. No one can beat his creativity.

I am going to live the above and if not be MJ, be close to what he has achieved. MJ we miss you.

Live your Passion

Last Saturday (23rd May) lot of people had a great time with Dr. Aruna an Oncologist and a great role model for Life. The way she carried herself and the way she conducted herself was just mind blowing. I am and every one who attended the session is blessed to have met such a great person who survived a Cancer and living with so much courage and discipline in life.

She was so energetic and she was just emanating joy of life. She surprised everyone when she started saying “I am doctor but I am going talk about life”. What did I learn from her? I think different people had different learning but these are my learning. I am sure I cannot express everything because there was also lot of connection and feelings that was communicated.

1. All of us have been successful in life. We won the race when we were born and thats a great deal in life.

My Learning: Wow what a message to start with this was. Hitting me hard to remind me that Praveen its time you do more in life.

2. World came into existence by Imagination. For example, electricity can be used for many purposes, for light, ECG for checking if the heart if working, an oven to bake and an electric chair to kill people

My Learning: Whatever is happening in the world is by imagination and if we can stretch it wide we can do wonders.  And I am doing this every day

3.  Be aware of all things in life and thinking can Change your Life. Thinking changes everything or even the events that happen around. 

My Learning: I just found of what thought patterns I have about certain things that are not happenign in my life and I changed them. Event is not the outcome but Event plus response is the outcome and I can control the thoughts and choose the response

4. Jonathan the seagull: This is from a book where the seagull was fat and people thought it cannot fly and it started flying and was on top of the world. It is like the bumble bee. Aero dynamically speaking the bumble bee cannot fly but it does not know it cannot fly

My Learning: Be the seagull. Break barriers that you thought you cannot. So I am taking up new challenges in my life

5. There is not any hopeless things or situations that you cannot come out of if you think differently.

My Learning: Wow! thats all can I say

6. Sorrows are not sorrows in itself but its only so called sorrows which you can come out of. Do not succumb to Sorrows

7. People see me as a successful person but am I successful. If I achieve what I want then i am successful

My Learning: Never live for others. Just achieve what you want.

8. Your living is by your thoughts. Difficulties will come, but have the mental strength and dont give up at any cost

My Learning: During difficult times I will focus on the goals and move one

9. Why waste this precious life? Never compare yourself with others

My Learning: I never do that and dont want to do it in future too. I will have role models and do better than many.

10. At no point of time I thought I will not do my M.S. Thinking is the greatest attraction

My Learning: Dr. Aruna had some challenges to do her Masters in Medicine and this belief and focus made her achieve. Can’t I do that?

For all those who could not attend, I feel sorry for you and this is the best I could do.

Do you need pills to handle depression? I read an article in a newspaper recently which said the sales of Anti-Depressant pills have shot up? Surprising because people treat this financial turmoil in very different ways. They feel depressed because of huge financial loses and use these pills to feel better. Read article here.. http://tinyurl.com/58u2wm

Can these pills really make you feel better? I really don’t know, but the fact is that you don’t need pills to feel better. As a matter of fact you really don’t need reason to feel better. This moment right now can you feel better?

I always say to people during my training program is this

“The only reason why you must feel happy is that you are able to read this or hear something happening and feel in a certain way”. You are so gifted to have what you have and that’s a good enough reason to feel happy.

But people say, “Praveen I have lost money, and how do expect me to now feel depressed?”. Absolutely right! You must feel depressed but my question is that will taking pills be the solution. The result of eating anti-depressants or even smoking or drinking is “More depressed”. You will feel down, sad and depressed and because of that eat pills and then feel more bad because you are eating pills for not getting depressed which means that you are fighting depression.

Depression is just a State of Mind and you can control it. I know you will feel bad about the events of your loss. But it cannot be avoided. Respond in a useful way so that your life will be in better control of yourself. Instead of focusing on how life will be because of your loss, start focusing on how you want life to be. That will make you come out of depression will motivate you and make you perform better.

Please do not pop pills because they have other effects in your brain.

Why I write this post? Because for the first time I got a message on the 5th of September for Teachers Day, saying “Happy Teachers Day, NLP Teacher”. That made my day actually. I missed the message on the 5th of Sep and when I reached India, I got this message. (For all my readers across the globe, 5th of Sep is celebrated as teachers day to commerate a great teachers Dr.Radhakrishnan).

Did I make a difference in lives? Did people really take me as a Teacher. This thought was there and this message was a great one to make me believe that yes I can make a difference and I need to do more.Thats when I realized that I never have thought about my teachers who made a difference in my life. Whoever be it, they did contribute for my success. I am what I am today because of my teachers.

My teachers in my kindergarden (cannot forget that school.. amazing time..), my teachers in primary and secondary school (they really shaped me), my teachers in graduation and university (they showed me what life is all about) and my teachers even today in the various fields of self development, in particular Dr. Richard Bandler, my NLP Teacher.

I remember when I was in school, I used to participate in every speaking competition. And at one point in time, without even me asking them they used to just include my name. It was just the belief and trust what they had in me. In school there used a morning assembly when one student need to read the news for the day. There were many a times I remember, there would be no one to read and my teachers used to arrange someone urgently and that used to be me. I have got scolding from my principal many times for not preparing. But I think thats what gave me the courage what I have today and I can handle any audience, any number of people, whoever be it and intrestingly whatever topic it be.

Dear TEACHERS, if you are reading this.. my million “THANKS” to you. I really do not know how to compensate for all that you have done for me, but I will always have the sense of Gratitude for you made me “PRAVEEN”. If I have an identity today, you made a difference. Thanks dear teachers. Love you always.

Thanks to the person who made me write this post today. A Message really made a difference.